morning before christmas

we had the day off christmas eve, so i made it a point to take sofia to bryant park and the rockefeller tree. it was well worth it.

"bistek" (beef steak)

i was around 10 years old when i discovered how much i really love this dish. i remember only taking a little bit of rice and putting too much meat on accident. this meant that the ratio of rice:meat was uneven. after eating all the rice there was plenty of meat on my plate still, so i got more rice. but then i took too much rice and so i had to get more meat on my plate. this might have happened a couple more times, but not on accident...

this is a simple dish.
marinate thin slices of steak/beef tenderloin
in 1/4 cup soy sauce, 4tbs lemon juice/kalamansi/vinegar,
minced garlic & freshly ground pepper
30 mins - overnight
heat 2tbs oil in large pan and fry beef
then add the marinade and boil. let simmer.
cut 1 large red onion into rings and add on top of beef.
you can even fry the rings in a separate pan if you want it a bit crispy

alternatively, andrew suggested that we could marinate the beef and broil it. duh, why didn't i think of this. i decided to create a bed of onions and thyme for the meat. pre-heat broiler at 350. baste the meat or just add the marinade i there too. cook for 30 mins- 1 hour depending on how thick you cut the meat. i was too lazy to cut it so i just left it whole. it took about 1 hour. serve with steamed jasmine rice.

"imbotido" - filipino meatloaf
i actually didn't make this, it was from a restaurant.
the meatloaf is rolled in foil and steamed for 1 hour.
usually this is made in large batched.
so you freeze some and fry it when ready to eat.
you can even eat it for breakfast with fried egg and rice.



bokchoy stir fry, imbotido and polenta
i made polenta for the first time using this recipe.
except i didn't bother frying it or adding tomato sauce.
i'll try that next time.

butternut squash soup + harvest salad

so for new years, i'm making it a goal to cook more. not only to save money, but also to learn how to cook all the filipino foods my mom cooked. i realize during the winter time as well as lately, that i've been craving filipino food. i guess because since its a bit heavy, sometimes soupy, and salty it's perfect for the cold winter days. plus it reminds me of my moms home cooking, and thats always comforting. i'm going to start keeping a record of the recipes since my mom only teaches me to eyeball it. so it takes a few research and tries to get it exactly how i remember them.

the following recipe is not filipino and it is also out of season. this meal is clearly meant for fall. so forgive me. but i'm sure you can eat it whenever you feel like it.

butternut squash soup

(adapted from the smitten kitchen)

melt 1/2 stick butter in large pot over medium heat

+ 1 large onion, finely chopped & 4 large garlic cloves, chopped

sautee til tender

add the following ingredients

+ 3 14 1/2-ounce cans low-salt chicken broth

+ 4 cups 1-inch pieces peeled butternut squash (about 1 1/2 pounds)

+ 4 cups 1-inch pieces peeled potatoes (about 1 1/2 pounds)* optional

+ 1 1/4 teaspoons minced fresh thyme

+ 1 1/4 teaspoons minced fresh sage

+ 1 1/2 teaspoons ground cumin

+ 1/2 teaspoon ground ginger

boil and reduce to simmer until squash and potatoes are tender.

if you have a handheld blender you can go ahead and just blend in the pot.

if not, work in batches and transfer into the blender. and return to pot.

stir in 1/8 cup whipping cream and return to simmer.

add kosher salt & freshly ground pepper

croutons

preheat broiler

use 2 tablespoons (1/4 stick) to butter day old slices of baguettes

broil til golden and turn it over

sprinkle
1 cup grated Gruyere cheese
1 teaspoon minced fresh thyme
1 teaspoon minced fresh sage

salt & pepper

broil til cheese melts

ladle soup into bowls and add croutons

harvest salad

large bag of greens

1 pear or apple

1/2 cup dried cherries/cran

4oz crumbled feta/gorgonzola

2oz crumbled pecans/walnuts

raspberry vinaigrette

+ moonlight mile ost

music should play while you cook. it adds flavor ;)

it's a new day + superstitions.

all i've been hearing is bad news lately and one of my co-workers had brought up that she was looking into superstitions. i'm still not quite sure how to feel about them. it just seem silly to seriously believe in that. though i have to admit, i dabble with feng shui and the daily horoscopes every once in a while. i mean, its really just like checking the weather, no? oh who knows. but lately, when things go wrong, we seem to turn to these superstitions for hope. kind of like religion to some extent, but less committed.

anyway the two i remember growing up is wearing something with polka dots for fortune/money/some sort of luck. and the other is jumping when the clock strikes 12 so you'll grow taller. i don't do the jumping one anymore as i don't really care if i'm short or tall like i did when i was 10. but if i could remember, i'd wear an article of clothing that was polkadot if it were convenient. whether it worked or not i didn't pay much attention. but i've run into some bad luck like every other person. and like some people i try to see the good in the bad and so therefore i wouldn't really think it bad. and thus i think i'm fortunate. but that's because my last name, which is dichoso, means "fortunate" in spanish. now i'm not spanish at all, i'm filipino. but i'm pretty sure there's some spanish down the line. i haven't technically and neither am i planning on confirming this. this is as far as i'm actually going to think about it. but i'm just going to toss the idea out there.. and i digress.

so for new years eve we went to his mom's house to also celebrate her golden birthday. the big 50! and wow. i must say, she is superhero mom. and i am completely grateful for what an awesome human being she is. she really does put things into perspective.
but anyhow back to superstitions.
here are the one's i've observed.
bullet points if you will...

• pancit - filipino noodle dish for longevity. which is also a dish served in every birthday. spaghetti works too. as long as its a long noodle.
  
• rice/coins in a dish. so you won't go hungry and for good luck
  
• fruits - positive feelings, happiness, companionship
  
• knocking on wood - to prevent something bad spoken of from happening
  
• jangle coins in hand when clock strikes 12 - for good luck
  
• polka dots - sign of money
  
• leaving coins in the windows new years eve + day of - for good luck
  
• opening windows - for prosperity
• broken dish/glass/mirror - bad omen
  
• spoon / fork dropping - someone will arrive. spoon = woman, fork = man

i feel somewhat ridiculous, but there is also something in me that wants to believe for the sake of having hope in something. and i do somewhat follow feng shui because it gives meaning to structure. ie: i don't like the head of my bed facing the door because something about bad energy going straight to you. so with that said, i do believe in energy. good or bad. and i guess some people would call those spirits. but i don't like personifying these things. as i think human beings can be a lot more dangerous and cause a lot more damage and pain in others. sometimes though i can sense different vibes from people. and i've since learned which people bring positive energy or negative energy into my life. which is also another reason why its hard for me to be in social situations, make new friends, or have anxieties around certain people. but enough about that.

another superstitious thing i sort of believe in is that whatever you are doing or feeling the day of new years is what the rest of the year will be like. which is why i was trying to write this entry yesterday so i could blog more often. but now, i'll just have to make a conscious effort to do so.

i really have no point in writing this. just a way for me to get my thoughts out about it.
hopefully 2011 will have good things coming our way.

ok enough words.
more pictures to come!

it's the end of another year,
the time when everyone gets all reflective about their
lives, relationships, personal accomplishments.
i know quiet a few people who are struggling, including myself.
some more than others, but really, it's all relative.
and i always remind myself that everyone, everyone, everyone is fighting a hard battle.

i'm personally thankful to have completed a whole year here in new jersey.
to have made it through a whole year at work.
which caused me so much distress and pain and humiliation.
but i survived. i almost quit half way. exactly 6 months into it.
turned in my resignation letter, got an interview in another department and all.
but i have proven to be a valuable part of the organization, and mountains were moved for me to stay.
and so i did. and things are better.
its not the best job or the easiest, but at least i can breathe.

i have survived not just the work itself, but the effort it takes to even get there.
which is a battle all on its own.
i think charles bukowski best writes about this in this poem:

gamblers all

sometimes you climb out of bed in the morning and you think,
I'm not going to make it, but you laugh inside
remembering all the times you've felt that way, and
you walk to the bathroom, do your toilet, see that face
in the mirror, oh my oh my oh my, but you comb your hair anyway,
get into your street clothes, feed the cats, fetch the
newspaper of horror, place it on the coffee table, kiss your
wife goodbye, and then you are backing the car out into life itself,
like millions of others you enter the arena once more.

you are on the freeway threading through traffic now,
moving both towards something and towards nothing at all as you punch
the radio on and get Mozart, which is something, and you will somehow
get through the slow days and the busy days and the dull
days and the hateful days and the rare days, all both so delightful
and so disappointing because
we are all so alike and so different.

you find the turn-off, drive through the most dangerous
part of town, feel momentarily wonderful as Mozart works
his way into your brain and slides down along your bones and
out through your shoes.

it's been a tough fight worth fighting
as we all drive along
betting on another day.

sigh.
besides that.
i have survived a year of being away from my
family and friends.
family and friends.
family and friends.
without whom life is difficult to get through.

most importantly, i survived being a mother.
but actually i shouldn't say i "survived" it
because sofia is the one reason that keeps me going through all of this.
and so i thank her and her dad. thank you.
thank you. my loves.

and i thank you, you who reads these posts of mine and looks at my pictures
and even find it in the least bit interesting.
thank you for being a witness to this, this tired existence i call my life.

but i digress.

i really just wanted to share this song with you:

what a joy it is to be alive
to get another chance, yeah
everyday's another chance
to get it right this time
everyday's another chance
oh what a merciful, merciful, merciful God
oh what a wonderful, wonderful, wonderful God

i gotta find peace of mind - lauryn hill