snowed in


for the past so many winters, i find myself saying, "this is the winter of discontent." then the following year, "this is the winter of discontent." and the following year, "no, this is the winter of discontent." and finally this year, "this is definitely the winter of discontent."

i would really like this post not to be about venting and i will try very hard for it not to be. so bare with me.

so much has happened just in the month of january and i'd like for it to stay in january. it is now february.

these have been the most eventful and yet the least inspiring days.

most of which i will blame on the snow, how it has made my commuting life a living hell and used up all my sick days. now that i am really sick, i have to go to work.

i've also been quite ambivalent about nyc and have come to a conclusion that everyone here is miserable. and that the saying, "if you can make it in ny, you can make it anywhere" is true, because ny is probably the worse place to live in. which really sucks, because i really did fall in love with this city and i really want to stay in love with it. perhaps its another one of those relationships that i just can't commit to for the long haul. another love/hate relationship.

the overarching reasons that's causing me to dislike nyc:
1. commuting is rather difficult when you live on the other side of the hudson river and having to cross that river everyday just to get to manhattan. also, nj transit shuts down on certain inclement weather and prevents me from going to work. which is really a blessing in disguise.
2. i am unhappy at my job. certain events have occured that has made me even more uncomfortable there. let's just say i have put up with so much bullcrap already and things are only getting worse.
3. i have no social life
4. "new jerk city" = people here are rude. which is probably the reason for #3 and its probably because they are miserable.
5. maybe i am just too sensitive. ny is not for the faint of heart and i'm just not that kind of person who would argue with random strangers. though lately i find myself in certain situations that's put me on the brink of the the tipping point.

i think these are pretty legit reasons that are making me reconsider moving back to chicago. but then when i think about winter in general, i would much prefer to live in the west coast.

i've been really trying to love ny again, the ny i see in movies. i've been watching a lot of new york city movies/tv shows lately to try and make me fall in love again. mostly woody allen films, meg ryan movies, seinfeld and 3o rock.

if you know any other good ones that might help hold me over til spring, i would greatly appreciate it.