these are pictures i took last year. i'm posting them to make up for the lack of pictures i've taken this winter and to remind myself of the little things i love about new york: it's character and quirks. i realize, as i looked through my photo stream, how little i've captured of this. maybe this is a good reminder that my mission here is not over.
i woke up today feeling a sense of lightness i haven't felt in so long. i actually started listening to music again as i commuted to work and i forgot how good it feels when the soundtrack to your life is playing in your ears and you watch it unfold before your eyes. oh, and the sun! i felt the sun on my skin and it felt so good. there was a small patch of sunlight on the sidewalk streaming from behind the buildings and i sure did bask in it.
so, i guess i should tell you, but i hope i don't jinx myself if i do... but i have an interview tomorrow... and i'm real excited about it. for reasons i'll mention if and when i actually do get the job. but for now, i just want to say i haven't felt this happy in a while. it definitely explains the lightness i felt today. all the built up tension on my neck was gone. i even said "hey" (accidentally since i was in such a good mood this morning) to the coworker who i stopped talking to and awkward it was.
also lola v. is back from the Philippines, which all of us are so grateful for. sofia, on the other hand, was just thrilled. when she first saw lola she just stood there staring at her, not moving but she had a huge grin on her face. she's a very shy kid, so if she doesn't recognize you she would probably freeze and hide behind something. she hadn't seen lola since august and i'm sure part of her forgot about her a little bit, but as soon as she saw her and felt her presence she knew. the rest of the night she followed lola v around and hugged her and tugged at her leg. she wouldn't even come to me when i called her and instead she went straight to lola! little punk..
so, i have a huge calendar at work whose days i cross off with a big X. my coworker asked me why i did that, and i explained that it's what prisoners do when they are doing time. she found that rather disturbing and said that something was wrong with me and that i'm in big trouble. hah! but its true. i've felt that way since the first week when i found out what i got myself into. anyhow, i am impressed with myself that i actually have worked there for over a year. it's because a) i'm a masochist. b) i have this need to put myself in "challenging" situations to prove to myself that i can do anything. c) i can't find any other job. d) all of the above.
it is also clear that i am not the only one impressed by how long i've lasted working here. random people who work in other departments still come up to me to tell me how surprised they are that i am still here, or to congratulate me on how long i've lasted. this is no joke.
the past couple of weeks have been nonstop research on possible career paths to pursue. still haven't decided. my whole life thus far has been this endless pursuit to finding something, but today something in me knew that i am exactly where i need to be.