Showing posts with label music. Show all posts
Showing posts with label music. Show all posts

Sunday

summers are for celebrating



it's 3am.

i've been up editing sofia's and audrey's birthday party pics,
because long story short, cvs effed up my negatives.
i got them back full of scratches with some sticky substances
on some of them and folded in the most inconvenient places.
so i will have to make do with what i have.

sofia icing

we went to alex's 2nd birthday party at scholastic books today,
i know sofie and audrey had a lot of fun with all the games they had them doing!

today is also my dad's 66th birthday.
cheers to you, my daddy!

oh and lucy's too.

a couple other's birthdays too, i remember yous.

summers are for celebrating.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to us!

i've put the birthday banner back up.
so, here's to celebrating everyday!
don't forget, stay young at heart.



Monday




people waiting around outside for scalped tickets.


taken in the lower east side on the way to see the extraordinary ordinary life of jose gonzalez. which, obviously, would be sold out. people were standing around waiting for scalped tickets outside the rooftop films venue. we ended up watching tree of life instead, which was too long. and i didn't enjoy it much knowing that i was missing out on the extraordinary ordinary life of jose gonzalez, which is probably pretty extraordinary.

on another note. it's august now. the best month to start loving summer again, because soon it will be over and fall begins. summer can be pretty exhausting with all the fun heat. i used to hate summer, but when i think of winter, i realize i'd rather have the heat.




Friday

mood indigo












it was andrew's birthday yesterday.
happy birthday baby dad.
last night: park slope, brooklyn
saw dale earnhardt jr. jr.

i wish i could live like this everyday.
until then, i'll live music to music.






Wednesday

subliminal

It has been a while since my last real update. I have been sick for what feels like three months now. On and off every 2-3 weeks and even during my trip to Chicago. I haven't fully recovered, but today I just felt the need to write something down, despite feeling like my head is full of clouds. And such is my style, I write when I am slightly delirious and only then can I actually form words to purge these thoughts.







These images weren't intentional. I took these pictures with my mind set on documenting how things are now over there to update my memory bank. And well, memories are a funny thing. It is always interesting for me to come back home, or to any familiar place, only to find that though things are different certain feelings remain the same.

Then you realize, memories come back in the form of what they have grown to become. And you meet them again and again and again, spiraling into a rabbit hole you try to avoid falling into. But I digress..

Though I arrive thinking I have new eyes to see with, there is always a greater gravitational pull (perhaps from my mother's couch) that makes me want to just lay there with my eyes closed while bathing in the sunlight. Possibly wishing I was someplace else and nevertheless, comforted all at once. But that is all I have to say about that.




So I have come to accept and love how the images turned out. I believe it was meant to come out distorted or abstracted because truthfully, it comes closest to conveying what my memories and thoughts are made of (with the exception of the last two photographs).

Finally, I will just leave you with this quote, which may or may not further explain/distort what I am trying to say:

"We comfort ourselves by reliving memories of protection. Something closed must retain our memories, while leaving them their original value as images. Memories of the outside world will never have the same tonality as those of home and, by recalling these memories, we add to our store of dreams; we are never real historians, but always near poets, and our emotion is perhaps nothing but an expression of a poetry that was lost."
— Gaston Bachelard (The Poetics of Space)


~*~

ps.
100dBs finally dropped a mix today!!
40 minutes to freedom

click the image ^ and listen.
let's just say I'm dancing in my seat at work right now.

Friday

it's the end of another year,
the time when everyone gets all reflective about their
lives, relationships, personal accomplishments.
i know quiet a few people who are struggling, including myself.
some more than others, but really, it's all relative.
and i always remind myself that everyone, everyone, everyone is fighting a hard battle.

i'm personally thankful to have completed a whole year here in new jersey.
to have made it through a whole year at work.
which caused me so much distress and pain and humiliation.
but i survived. i almost quit half way. exactly 6 months into it.
turned in my resignation letter, got an interview in another department and all.
but i have proven to be a valuable part of the organization, and mountains were moved for me to stay.
and so i did. and things are better.
its not the best job or the easiest, but at least i can breathe.

i have survived not just the work itself, but the effort it takes to even get there.
which is a battle all on its own.
i think charles bukowski best writes about this in this poem:

gamblers all

sometimes you climb out of bed in the morning and you think,
I'm not going to make it, but you laugh inside
remembering all the times you've felt that way, and
you walk to the bathroom, do your toilet, see that face
in the mirror, oh my oh my oh my, but you comb your hair anyway,
get into your street clothes, feed the cats, fetch the
newspaper of horror, place it on the coffee table, kiss your
wife goodbye, and then you are backing the car out into life itself,
like millions of others you enter the arena once more.

you are on the freeway threading through traffic now,
moving both towards something and towards nothing at all as you punch
the radio on and get Mozart, which is something, and you will somehow
get through the slow days and the busy days and the dull
days and the hateful days and the rare days, all both so delightful
and so disappointing because
we are all so alike and so different.

you find the turn-off, drive through the most dangerous
part of town, feel momentarily wonderful as Mozart works
his way into your brain and slides down along your bones and
out through your shoes.

it's been a tough fight worth fighting
as we all drive along
betting on another day.

sigh.
besides that.
i have survived a year of being away from my
family and friends.
family and friends.
family and friends.
without whom life is difficult to get through.

most importantly, i survived being a mother.
but actually i shouldn't say i "survived" it
because sofia is the one reason that keeps me going through all of this.
and so i thank her and her dad. thank you.
thank you. my loves.

and i thank you, you who reads these posts of mine and looks at my pictures
and even find it in the least bit interesting.
thank you for being a witness to this, this tired existence i call my life.

but i digress.

i really just wanted to share this song with you:

what a joy it is to be alive
to get another chance, yeah
everyday's another chance
to get it right this time
everyday's another chance
oh what a merciful, merciful, merciful God
oh what a wonderful, wonderful, wonderful God

i gotta find peace of mind - lauryn hill


Sunday

memoryhouse

currently getting into this band. so weird how i am just now discovering music that's been in my itunes for a while now. sometimes it takes a few spins until my brain latches on. then i'm hooked. kind of like loading film in vintage cameras.






Friday

music finds and rediscoveries
day 3 of staycation

hearing: angus & julia stone playlist

i've been bored as of late. well, maybe not bored, more like being too busy to search for new music and other pleasant things to distract occupy my mind. rediscovered angus and julia stone on kcrw "mornings become eclectic". and i can't help but think, why do i listen to such achingly sad music... and admittedly so?
anyway, this one's great.

for the windy city:

.

so since its my vacation and was looking forward to chicago, i've been all sorts of nostalgic for life and the people there. i think it might have been why i've done the unthinkable. but hopefully this will keep us in touch, since at times it can be too hard or too busy to do even that.

[warning: hasty writing, bad grammar ahead. ]

onto what we did on the second day of my break. yes, i know this is completely self-indulgent, but what is a vacation for, but to indulge. and having said that, what is a blog for?

what to do for pleasure...



yesterday i spent the day with sofia. took the train to the city. she loves that. i asked her in the morning if she wants to go to new york, and her eyes lit up, she's smiling and said, "NEW YORK CITY!" so i said, "okay, new york it is." she loves riding the train and prefers to stand. she doesn't like sitting next to strangers. and inches closest to the edge of the seat near me as i'm standing in front of her. and no we don't bring strollers because it's more of a hassle bringing that up and down the subway. met up with andrew for lunch at the shake shack and had a "shack"ago hot dog. it came pretty close with the whole cucumber, peppers, onions, tomato... but the dog. no. definitely not chicago. the fries were good though. the burger was juicy and it's on a potato bun which makes it yummy. after that we were on the bus to go to the lower east side, but after a couple stops i notice the momofuku wall and realized we were steps from milk bar. had to scoop sofia up from her seat and got off that bus. this time i got only the birthday cake truffles. i swear whenever i eat that it always feels like its my birthday. one for me, one for sofi. we were eating that outside a bench. some guy passes by and says, "nom nom nom". sofi pauses and looks at me. she smiles and nods her head. "nom nom nom" she said, as she savoured that sweet ball of nomminess and swinging her legs back and forth.






got back on the bus. for some reason, only some stops let you pay at some machine before you board. you insert your card and it prints you a receipt. so you can show it to the driver if he asks, other wise you can just walk right in, like the lightrail. anyway, i figured ill get back on the bus and use the same receipt, since it valid for going the same way and expires in an hour. so to heck with it. the bus is coming anyway and i don't want to have to pay twice for the same bus ride. all i did was stop to pick up cake truffles for me and my baby girl, surely that's no sin. so i got on, showed the guy my crumpled receipt. looks over it he goes, "you know this ain't the stop for this." so i said, "i know, but we started walking and ended up here." he looks at me, rolls his eyes and said, "you can't be doing this next time..." yeah, okay.

we got off houston. crossed the street and ended up at the playground on 2nd ave. sofia climbed the ladders and went sliding down slides. meanwhile, this old lady kept yelling at some kid. while all the kids look at each other and to me, all wondering who the heck is she talking to. then she'll yell again, saying "not you, i'm not yelling at you, i'm yelling at him." still don't know who she's talking about or to whom she's talking. we shrug it off and continue with our climbing and sliding. there is a woman sitting up on one of them forts with the better slide which sofia doesn't bother to climb because she's up there. any how, she starts saying, "that's not nice... that's not nice. you think i over sell myself .....!?!." repeating it over and over again while her voice gradually climbs up to shouting. i thought she was yelling at her kid, who is smaller than sofi. i look up and see she's on her phone. gosh, seriously. she is sitting smack dab in the middle of a playground, wearing an all pink velour jogging/hoodie get up. she goes on and on, and finally hangs up the phone. she comes down with her pale white kid looking like dakota fanning starts running towards sofie and wanting to play with her. so she's following her kid and i'm like, "oh sofi, say hi." the lady looks at me, she goes, "sofie?" points to sofi, "my daughter's name is sofie too!" oh... yeah.. great.
so the rest of the playground experience was trying to divert ourselves from these two because her kid keeps following sofia but sofia ain't having none of that. and also we have way too much in common. just kidding. but, no really.
anyway i got tired of the playground, but she wanted to stay. but i said, we gotta go, its cold and i'm not about to stay out and wait for rush hour. luckily the F was right there, so i was able to get off the next stop to soho. i wanted to go to uniqlo. but damn, i forgot it was veterans day and people are everywhere. any way, i'm pretty sure it was a good day to teach sofia a lesson about not holding my hands as that she insists she will walk as she darn pleases. oh and those damn street carts keep attracting her. she'd stop and go, mmm and points to those halal carts. that really made me laugh a little. she didn't even know what she wanted from there, cause when i asked her she'd look and look but could only point to water as it's the only thing she recognizes. anyway we didn't get through the store, it was too crazy, so we immediately left the store and got on the N. it was the closest stop out of there. sort of got confused with this train ride and got off on 8th st. didn't realize the stop was on broadway and not close to the PATH at all. so luckily i realized this before walking up those steps carrying sofi. so we waited for the next N. got back on and got off on 33rd, which the sign clearly says transfers to PATH. yay. they make it easy. i thought it was 4:30 already, luckily the JSQ train was already there. got seats because it was the first stop. looking at this family across us with strollers. everyone else have their eyes closed. yeah, it's pretty tiring. i look at sofi and she is also sleeping. she slept right through even on our drive back home. we got home at 4:30. which is awesome when you think it's already 6.

anyway, now i'm waiting for a package. i found a sign on the front door saying there's a package for me, but they will come back and try again tomorrow. so here i am spending all my morning at home. as if it was a waste of my time. no, i'm not complaining at all.

and yay, it's friday. have a relaxing weekend! also, if you read all the way down here, it means you love me.

i heart you too <3

Wednesday

today i woke up and it felt like i was in college again
& it reminded me of mates of state.

Tuesday

choons

Diggin' this song right now:



Also reminded me of this video:

choons

ms. lauryn hill, finally!





we missed you too.
(pictures from brooklyn vegan)






now i understand.

Edward Sharpe & the Magnetic Zeroes


Been feeling bummed lately, but when I watched this it made me happy.
I especially loved the second song, "Home". Probably because, Jade (who looks like a fidgety waifish boy) has such a powerful voice. When she first opened her mouth I was so surprised!
Plus Alex Ebert is so good looking.

Sunday

summertime.


this will always be the summer jam.